Dear followers, newcomers, and any assorted white trash who may have accidentally stumbled on this blog while searching hysterically for information about “crystal meth use lumps back of neck”:

As much as I hate to rub your face in it, it’s, like, totally awesome? To be me? Today’s manifestation of that hard, unavoidable fact is my lovely new look-and-feel, chosen from an absolute carload of available WordPress themes. This theme is called “Sorbet”. Which is pretty damn cute to a point just this side of the gag reflex. Now, here’s the deal on the name, and I’m going to take this slowly: For those of you who don’t get the distinction between “ice cream” and “frozen petroleum-byproduct dessert substitute – not to be taken internally”, a sorbet is –
Oh why do I bother.
A word on how I made this choice:
You may be wondering. Because I am gay, I am drawn, as is the moth to the flame, to edgy pastels, little girly icons, especially ♥, and any prominent title beginning with a potentially sibilant “S”. And, guess what? “Sorbet” has all of those, in spades. I tell ya – those hot, hung, 18+, straight designer dudes at WP obviously saw me coming. And if they watched me on Skype any time after midnight in the last week, they definitely did!
LOL! Just kidding!
So that’s all, drones and dronettes. Dry those scalding hot tears of envy, throw back those rounded shoulders and get back to your pathetic little Powerpoint presentations. ‘Cause the world needs more so boring I could plotz.
And I lied. I love rubbing your face in it.