Enjoying my new diet: Neo-Paleolithic high-fat in the morning, low-carb/vegan in the afternoon. I figure combining them will have an exponential effect on my weight loss (I need to lose the adipose tissue around my upper lip before I look good in that jersey number).
For lunch I enjoy hearty Italian sausage on fried bread with pan drippings. Blood pressure rises to 290/180.
The Resident at St Mike’s Emerg is helpful and fast-tracks me after I promise to share the recipe. He assures me I’ll be fine after I’m off life-support.
In the ICU, I grasp his hand and ask if I’ll be able to compete in the New York Marathon this year. He says yes. Which is odd because I’ve never run before.
INSTRUCTIONS FOR VISITORS: No flowers. Please. Just maybe a couple maple-glazed crullers and a Diet Coke.