Think of it like this: You’re not late for Christmas. You’re really really early for Valentine’s Day.
Like when I bring out a blackened piece of dead cow, possibly even later this afternoon, carve it up for my dinner guests and exclaim, “It’s not BURNT. It’s aggressively browned.”
So instead of giving your naked, shameless, big-boobed show-cougar a power tool and a lifetime supply of lithium batteries, give her the gift of
“OOOOOO, Daddy!”
Then » buy yourself my book on Amazon, in paperback or Kindle format! (opens in a new tab)