For God’s Sake, Don’t Look in Your Stocking

Twenty-twenty has been just one ginormous lump of coal Remember when you were a kid, you used to get The Christmas Talk? Be a good girl, a nice boy, or Santa will put a lump of coal in your stocking. And you just rolled your eyes. A lump of coal! What kind of child-abusing scumbagContinue reading “For God’s Sake, Don’t Look in Your Stocking”

Whatever Shall We Do About Justin?

You need to know that Trudeauphobia has its roots in the fear and loathing of straight males who are closing in for the kill. A clarification MOST OF US, HAVING SEEN Sophie-Grégoire and Justin Trudeau caught in a candid moment gazing adoringly into each other’s eyes, or photogenically romping around with their three children; orContinue reading “Whatever Shall We Do About Justin?”

All? Or Nothing at All?

I’m all for ideals. Some common sense would be good, too. To kick off today’s in-depth exploration of the obvious, let me ask you a question: Who gives a flying fuck about a miserable, bigoted, old white guy sportscaster with bad taste in clothing and worse taste in philosophy? As it happens, I’m the firstContinue reading “All? Or Nothing at All?”

Justin Scandals, Count How Many

The skipping rhymes of Generation Z … …with a nod to the 2019 Canadian Federal Election I’VE BEEN UNDERCOVER IN MY SAILOR SUIT AND adorable Hudson’s Bay dress shorts (available in Québec only in polyester, due to the current shortage of “pure laine;” nous sommes très très fucking désolés), chatting about Dr Seuss and reminiscing about TheContinue reading “Justin Scandals, Count How Many”

We Sincerely Hope Our Election Won’t Disturb Your Sleep …

… plus: Facebook is the idiot-maker. IT BEING MY BIRTHDAY COMING UP and all, I treated myself, as one does, to a little bit of narcissistic self-analysis, in the form of the Myers-Briggs personality test. The Myers-Briggs personality test is perfect for when you’ve gotten tired of astrology or palm-reading, want a little more cachet,Continue reading “We Sincerely Hope Our Election Won’t Disturb Your Sleep …”

SCANDAL!? Nothing we can’t handle!

The SNC-Lavalin ruckus isn’t really about SNC-Lavalin—it’s about Justin. Gather around, boys and girls, as once again I pull my granddad pants up into my armpits and hook my Walter Brennan thumbs behind my suspenders. I’ve just awakened from a forty-eight-hour afternoon nap, which is why I’m so annoyingly perky, and though the time isContinue reading “SCANDAL!? Nothing we can’t handle!”

In which I get all squishy about Melania.

Good morning, I’ve had a most instructively contrary twenty-four hours and damn it, I mean to share. I’ve bashed my erstwhile Monday Man-Crush, The-Person-Called-Trudeau (I didn’t mean it, baby, it must have been the string beans, honest!) in broad daylight on The Guardian’s website (on the other hand you never picked up your cell, andContinue reading “In which I get all squishy about Melania.”

Monday Man-Crush –OR– How to make a Libtard hard! Top 4 most jaw-dropping Justin Trudeau pictures ever, revealing his Canadian secret of success that is so awesome! Unbelievably??! cute!!?

September 2016 It’s my birthday, and I am donning my tightest skinnies – no Kleenex-stuffing necessary, thank you very much, first in line – plus my “Only Gay In The Village” red sleeveless top in preparation for my man-crushing on this week’s and every week’s hunka hunka burnin’ PM,  Justin, The-Person-Called-Trudeau. With a bitter yetContinue reading “Monday Man-Crush –OR– How to make a Libtard hard! Top 4 most jaw-dropping Justin Trudeau pictures ever, revealing his Canadian secret of success that is so awesome! Unbelievably??! cute!!?”

May I Call You Justin? or, R-r-r-r-oll up and r-r-r-rim to win™!

Well,  come Monday the 19th, I donned my tiara with the great, big flashing “L-for-loser” and trotted off, unopened VISA bill in hand, to vote, non-strategically, for the Beard Party. Mainly ’cause of their free Birkenstocks platform and their fantastic thank-you-gift collectibles for any voter over nine who could be persuaded. I’m thinking – and these are just theContinue reading “May I Call You Justin? or, R-r-r-r-oll up and r-r-r-rim to win™!”