For God’s Sake, Don’t Look in Your Stocking

Twenty-twenty has been just one ginormous lump of coal Remember when you were a kid, you used to get The Christmas Talk? Be a good girl, a nice boy, or Santa will put a lump of coal in your stocking. And you just rolled your eyes. A lump of coal! What kind of child-abusing scumbagContinue reading “For God’s Sake, Don’t Look in Your Stocking”

A quiet staycation in my personal psychiatric ward

I’VE BEEN FEELING MIGHTY GUILTY about taking a little summer staycation in my hot, moist hometown of Toronto, Canada—a city of cheap condos that rain sheets of glass curtain wall onto the bed of a lake that evaporated ten thousand years ago—because, as I swelter in my kinky Mormon undergarments that I purchased second handContinue reading “A quiet staycation in my personal psychiatric ward”

Just getting up from the Ditch of Despond and climbing back onto the Carousel of Crazy: An overview

Hello, many of you have written to ask if I’m OK. Actually, that’s a blatant lie, not a single one of you has written, sent a message in an old Shiraz bottle, hired a bird from “Carrier Pigeons Plus” or done any of those “too busy to express how little I care but spending a portionContinue reading “Just getting up from the Ditch of Despond and climbing back onto the Carousel of Crazy: An overview”

Memory Lane, c/o The Little Cottage with the Delphiniums, Cabbagetown, Toronto.

Yes, it’s nostalgia time here at slowpainful dot com, and this of course means I’m going to fob you off with repurposed material.  Never, and believe me when I say it, NEVER forget how good I am to you. The first barrel of crude comes courtesy of, you guessed it, my fracking source of choice for black, sticky narcissism, Facebook.Continue reading “Memory Lane, c/o The Little Cottage with the Delphiniums, Cabbagetown, Toronto.”