Campers, I give you herewith: The dashboard for an electronic bidet's remote control. Oh, you heard, cupcake. Oh, yes you did. Stop going "LaLaLaLaLaLa" with your fingers in your ears. I have so much to share. Don't ask me how I stumbled across this treasure. I do not remember. Any more than the bathrobe-wearing 85-year-old … Continue reading Oscillating and pulsating, on and off, -OR- “What we talk about when we talk about extremely personal hygiene, assuming we’re tasteless enough to talk about it at all, and we are.”
Tag: epiphany
INTERPRET MY DREAM* CONTEST!! ** (with guest blogger Meryl Streep)
I had this dream*: I was back at the Royal Conservatory of Music, but as an adult. Oh really. How original! This usually means you get to wear, for example, ridiculously undersized Buster Brown shoes and a sailor suit, unless it's just the Buster Browns with knee socks. Which is distressingly like Japanese porn. Just … Continue reading INTERPRET MY DREAM* CONTEST!! ** (with guest blogger Meryl Streep)
Gee, don’t come rushing at me all at once, like a Handel chorus
Veritable smoothie of sophomoric humor. Strawberry = you. Well! (he spluttered). This is a fine how-d'you do! I work myself to the bone getting all sacrilegious, spend literally minutes in Photoshop desecrating the memory of possibly the 10th-greatest plummy English contralto who ever lived, blend it half-heartedly together into a veritable smoothie of sophomoric humor that would make … Continue reading Gee, don’t come rushing at me all at once, like a Handel chorus
Yes, friends. It’s time for : GAY WALK OF SHAME # 47
Heads up! Male camel-toe alert... Ladies and gentlemen of the jury: I give you Exhibit A. And I know what you're thinking: With finely-draped plaid shorts like these, those ketchup-stained, armpit-hiked old-age trousers from Gap are all but inevitable; There is incipient male camel-toe, that little-mentioned yet classic mark of future whoredom, apparent in the saggy yet … Continue reading Yes, friends. It’s time for : GAY WALK OF SHAME # 47
A first and entirely unoriginal epiphany, which nonetheless was still a big deal for me.
A friend of mine stopped by and knocked on my apartment door. Because I was running a bath, I didn't hear him. He continued to knock for a bit, then just stood there (so he reported later) feeling frustrated and confused. After about 10 minutes, he knocked again, and this time I did hear him. … Continue reading A first and entirely unoriginal epiphany, which nonetheless was still a big deal for me.