ebook

We have e-book!

My e-book is here! 
Start 2018 dyspeptically right!

Download a free sample !

Over 200 hilarious, quirky, satirical, silly, shocking and chortle-out-loud pages, suitable for laugh marathons or for dipping into at your leisure.

small-cover

(Think “Quality Street”, but without your dog staring at you as you unwrap the cellophane.)

With all-new content, delightfully dyspeptic memes, bold and “artistic” (= weird) photo-illustrations and thoughtful lists to fulfill my “pillow book” mandate. 

  • Snort with derision at my subversive Facebook Life Events
  • Get ready for the week with your Existential Forecast (avoid GAP “relaxed fit”)
  • Practise your Trump knock-knock jokes with the man himself (or face waterboarding, your call)
  • Whip up an absolutely frightfully jolly cockroach hat for Ascot!
  • Hear Princess Happy’s New Year’s greetings before she hits the ice floe (try not to flap your wrists),

    and

  • Get your AGA cooker ready with some damp 2 x 4’s in preparation for the simplified fourteen-hour Kraft Dinner recipe from Elizabeth David—the scholarly recipe that never made it to the press!

and tons more!

» Click here to grab a copy for $5 CAD + tax, only until February 8th

To enjoy your e-book to the max, be aware that:

  • this e-book is in PDF format. You can open PDFs right in your browser of choice or you can use one of the many available free apps such as Adobe Acrobat Reader.  No special hardware or e-reader required.

  • this book is intended for adults, contains graphic language (ask your kids to explain it to you), and deals with LGBT, political and other mature subject matter.  (I’m a gay male liberal, what did you expect?)

Look, just do it, OK?

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Commercial Break: David plugs himself with a poll, suitable for all ages.

PRE-ORDER MY E-BOOK!

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Pre-order my e-book for only $10 and start 2018 dyspeptically right!

Yes, friends, the e-book of the blog is coming February 1st, 2018, and you have the option of pre-ordering NOW.  You luckybitches!

This will 1. Show me how much you care; 2. Help with the print edition (the cover of which is shown here) 3. Get YOU a reduced price special edition of the paperback when it rolls out Spring 2018.

{The print book will be available on (fingers crossed) Amazon, Barnes and Noble and other fine booksellers who have the taste and discernment to recognize my comic genius, or who at the very least are subject to the bribery/extortion/kidnapping-while-in-possession-of-an-old-rusty-refrigerator-that-still-has-its-door-attached-a-picture- of-their-kids-and-a-ticket-to-Niagara-Falls spectrum of behavior.

Inbound marketing, in other words. I hope this makes sense.}

My publication is in the form of a Pillow Book.

Yes, siree, a Pillow Book! The first, most famous Pillow Book (a kind of diary filled with aphorisms, clever stories and pungent commentaries on social life) was written by Sei Shōnagon during her time as court lady to Empress Consort Teishi during the 990s and early 1000s in Heian Japan. I’m kind of embarrassed to remind you of something so “common-knowledge”! Go on, roll your eyes, I deserve it!

Well, anyway, as many of my friends spend virtually all their waking hours in court, the similarities between Sei Shōnagon and me simply couldn’t be more obvious! I’m always thrilled to carry on a tradition!

I was also macrobiotic for a while, which basically means you eat Japanese food wherever you live and pretend that that’s better for you.  And I’m a trained and certified shiatsu therapist, which is a traditional Japanese type of energy massage.

Holy Rice Balls!  I’d better stop before I have to fire myself for being over-qualified!!!

Just don’t get the idea that my book has anything to do with Japan.  It doesn’t.  Not in the slightest. In fact, this blurb has more info to do with Japan than my entire e-book, which is to say, any content at all about Japan.  OK?  Moving along.

(No offense, but—are you always this high-maintenance?)

Both the print and the e-book will contain new, rejigged and painstakingly fluffed versions of your favorite posts from the past four years, and, with no good deed going unpunished, exclusive new content just for YOU!

This is you: “Oh, stop! Oh, STOP, the dyspeptic humor is just so—! Oh, my RIBS—!”

You’ll also get a checkout code entitling you to 30% OFF any item in my Snatsch ‘n Foofer online store, valid until 2019.

Look, just do it, OK?

» Here’s the link, if you didn’t work out you could actually click on the book cover image above.

A rather long poll

While we’re at it, take the poll (see above) and give me FREE advice!

Happy New Year to all my friends and followers – you’ve truly made 2017 bearable.  Let’s hang out more in 2018.

Love,

David

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