.... 'cause our daddy takes us to hell ... Good morning friends. My name is Mark, and I'm a bank manager. It's comforting to see you all here and know I don't need to struggle alone. I'm going to start my address in French, OK? Ahem: « Alors, le President ! Ostie qu’il m’énerve ! … Continue reading Our Hearts Belong to Daddy
Tag: Canadian humor
And You Wonder Why You Can’t Have Nice Things
(Hint: It's not because of trans people) AI-generated image. Well, hello there. Long time no see. Here I am fresh from my "vacation" (staying at home, not doing stuff, and not making money, instead of staying at home, doing stuff, and not making money), and please excuse the thin layer of coffee-colored mud covering ninety-five … Continue reading And You Wonder Why You Can’t Have Nice Things
How Would You Like the World to End?
a bang, a whimper and existential boredom seem to be the options. Where even to begin? We live in truly apocalyptic times, which nonetheless retain an undertone of slapstick comedy. It's "Titanic" meets "Duck Soup" by way of "Pride and Prejudice with Zombies". Are you sitting comfortably? No? Then you've got the idea. A few … Continue reading How Would You Like the World to End?
Nothing But Tweets
making Twitter pull its birdly weight Welcome to the first edition of Tuesday Time Crush, in which I cravenly avoid the soul-destroying boondoggle of forcing myself to get creative by regaling you with a selection of the witty, cerebral two-hundred and eighty-character bon mots which I have posted to Twitter, the bidet that's convinced it's … Continue reading Nothing But Tweets
Book Launch Reveal # 5
In which I change my name to Nancy-David and introduce Cindy the Attack Orchid. Well, I can't find my hideously expensive under-eye serum but I also can't put this live broadcast thing off any longer, or my coach-in-a-box—who's more like a coach who's a box—will cover me with glossy, stiff peaks of meringue and throw … Continue reading Book Launch Reveal # 5
Book Launch Teaser #4, For the Underemployed
Today's live broadcast is dedicated to my dear friend Roz Lawrence, because today is her birthday and she is the only person I know well who's older than me. Roz, have a wonderful day! In this episode, I fight off an attack orchid, and, assisted by my invisible friend Glen, contemplate names for bath houses … Continue reading Book Launch Teaser #4, For the Underemployed
Some pics of {dis}interest from the innerweb…
...though I may have mixed up the captions. Hey, I'm 64, so kindly ease up on your running victory laps around me as you hold aloft your Pulitzer Prize for Too-Clever-By-Half. And, sorry, but have we met? Anyway, I'm extremely upset right now, so please at least pay attention so I can milk this for … Continue reading Some pics of {dis}interest from the innerweb…
Ten reasons it’s great to be Canadian
just off the top of my head, currently covered with a tuque Sea to shining sea? JULY 1ST IS CANADA DAY. So I took a break from my usual morning task of rendering seal blubber in my igloo to count the ways it’s great to be a Canuck. It’s not an exhaustive list. I’m sure … Continue reading Ten reasons it’s great to be Canadian
How to Read my Blog:
an instructional interlude Dear valued visitors and followers: This is the content of a new page, accessible from the main menu (above) and let's everyone wish it a very warm welcome. I wanted regular and new readers to know it exists, to draw your attention to it (me), to be encouraged to read it, and … Continue reading How to Read my Blog:
We have PAPERBACK! + REVIEW offer
Sorry to SHOUT BUT I'M REALLY EXCITED! Oh, fuck I started SHOUTING AGAIN BUT I CAN'T HELP IT! Really, really sorry about my lack of control. But it's not every day that you PUBLISH A PAPERBACK !!!. Oh, god. This is really embarrassing. Just try to bear with me as I tell you a little … Continue reading We have PAPERBACK! + REVIEW offer