Lazy, Hazy, Crazy Doug-Days of Summer

As the endless summer stretches out before me like a million patients etherized upon a million tables — in those private clinics that Doug Ford swears are not the beginning of the end of public health care in Ontario — I realize with horror that I don’t have enough entertainment to keep me going until September. Not … Continue reading Lazy, Hazy, Crazy Doug-Days of Summer


When Conservatives Speak, The World Shakes Its Head Every so often I like to turn the attention away from my game-changing opinions about important world events, written by me, and posted by me, on this blog; give everyone some time off from the exhausting and self-esteem-shattering grind of admitting how much better our society, our … Continue reading However-gate!

A Forced March Into an Already-Old New Year

Lockdown lunacy, a challenge for Nicole—and Trump's "come-as-dumb-as-you-are" farewell party, with sparklers. I’M PANDEMICKED, WHO ARE YOU? ARE you Pandemicked, too? Did you awaken this morning, as I did, with a stone for a heart, and emitting a groan that echoed through the inner city like twelve ambulances en route to a burning trap house? … Continue reading A Forced March Into an Already-Old New Year

SCANDAL!? Nothing we can’t handle!

The SNC-Lavalin ruckus isn't really about SNC-Lavalin—it's about Justin. Gather around, boys and girls, as once again I pull my granddad pants up into my armpits and hook my Walter Brennan thumbs behind my suspenders. I've just awakened from a forty-eight-hour afternoon nap, which is why I'm so annoyingly perky, and though the time is … Continue reading SCANDAL!? Nothing we can’t handle!

Keep your kids, like. Ignorcent?! (TM) with Dug-Up Ford and Susan Dreamy, D.D.

Hi, I'm like,   Susan Dreamy?  D.D?  That's Doctress of Dreaminess, OK?  And I'm here today to help you live a dreamy, Life?  Also to talk to you about the things that are really, really, Like, important?  OK?  So let's get, like, started? So Dug-Up Ford and like, the Conservatives in Ontario, have, like. Your kids best interests. … Continue reading Keep your kids, like. Ignorcent?! (TM) with Dug-Up Ford and Susan Dreamy, D.D.

The “Our” of His Death.

Revised May 13, 2016. Rob Ford. Rob Ford is on my mind. God and all the friggin' archangels help me.  That's at least two brain cells gone forever. As erstwhile Mayor of Toronto, Ford exhibited the frustration, temper and childish resentment of someone who had been placed in a position whose responsibilities he knew he wasn't … Continue reading The “Our” of His Death.

May I Call You Justin?

R-r-r-r-oll up and r-r-r-rim to win™! Well,  come Monday the 19th, I donned my tiara with the great, big flashing "L-for-loser" and trotted off, unopened VISA bill in hand, to vote, non-strategically, for the Beard Party. Taut muscle + tousled hair + Winner of the Rim Job Thought Experiment = The Person Called Trudeau. Mainly … Continue reading May I Call You Justin?

The Night-Mayor Before Xmas

Zombie Rob returns from the dead, and this time he means business PLUS: Random Reco's Aw Jeez, Louise, not another one! Sometimes... trying to choose my words, here ... sometimes... ... how to put this - sometimes it's like, you've just this minute finished whacking your living-dead disgrace of an ex-mayor in the noggin with … Continue reading The Night-Mayor Before Xmas

Voting shame and sibling loathing

I just found out that my sister voted for ROB FORD. <flossing brain> A slight pause as I explain Rob Ford to my American friends.  Let's see.  Imagine that Sarah Palin overdosed on, what? moose meat, and somehow got genetically shmooshed up with Divine. Don't ask me how. Christ!  Maybe she fell into the transgromulator, OK? That thing … Continue reading Voting shame and sibling loathing