A Forced March Into an Already-Old New Year

Lockdown lunacy, a challenge for Nicole—and Trump’s “come-as-dumb-as-you-are” farewell party, with sparklers. I’M PANDEMICKED, WHO ARE YOU? ARE you Pandemicked, too? Did you awaken this morning, as I did, with a stone for a heart, and emitting a groan that echoed through the inner city like twelve ambulances en route to a burning trap house?Continue reading “A Forced March Into an Already-Old New Year”

SCANDAL!? Nothing we can’t handle!

The SNC-Lavalin ruckus isn’t really about SNC-Lavalin—it’s about Justin. Gather around, boys and girls, as once again I pull my granddad pants up into my armpits and hook my Walter Brennan thumbs behind my suspenders. I’ve just awakened from a forty-eight-hour afternoon nap, which is why I’m so annoyingly perky, and though the time isContinue reading “SCANDAL!? Nothing we can’t handle!”

Keep your kids, like. Ignorcent?! (TM) with Dug-Up Ford and Susan Dreamy, D.D.

Hi, I’m like, Susan Dreamy?  D.D?  That’s Doctress of Dreaminess, OK?  And I’m here today to help you live a dreamy, Life?  Also to talk to you about the things that are really, really, Like, important?  OK?  So let’s get, like, started? So Dug-Up Ford and like, the Conservatives in Ontario, have, like. Your kids best interests. AtContinue reading “Keep your kids, like. Ignorcent?! (TM) with Dug-Up Ford and Susan Dreamy, D.D.”

The NightMayor before Christmas: Zombie-Rob Ford returns from the dead to tell his bro’: “This time I want REVENGE!!!!”+PLUS+ Random Reco’s

Aw Jeez, Louise, not another one! Sometimes… trying to choose my words, here … sometimes… … how to put this – sometimes it’s like, you’ve just this minute finished whacking your living-dead disgrace of an ex-mayor in the noggin with a coal scuttle, chopping off his flabby, pustule-sprouting, gangrenous limbs and throwing the whole squalid, stinkingContinue reading “The NightMayor before Christmas: Zombie-Rob Ford returns from the dead to tell his bro’: “This time I want REVENGE!!!!”+PLUS+ Random Reco’s”

The “Our” of His Death.

Revised May 13, 2016. Rob Ford. Rob Ford is on my mind. God and all the friggin’ archangels help me.  That’s at least two brain cells gone forever. As erstwhile Mayor of Toronto, Ford exhibited the frustration, temper and childish resentment of someone who had been placed in a position whose responsibilities he knew he wasn’tContinue reading “The “Our” of His Death.”

May I Call You Justin? or, R-r-r-r-oll up and r-r-r-rim to win™!

Well,  come Monday the 19th, I donned my tiara with the great, big flashing “L-for-loser” and trotted off, unopened VISA bill in hand, to vote, non-strategically, for the Beard Party. Mainly ’cause of their free Birkenstocks platform and their fantastic thank-you-gift collectibles for any voter over nine who could be persuaded. I’m thinking – and these are just theContinue reading “May I Call You Justin? or, R-r-r-r-oll up and r-r-r-rim to win™!”

Voting shame and sibling loathing

I just found out that my sister voted for ROB FORD. <flossing brain> A slight pause as I explain Rob Ford to my American friends.  Let’s see.  Imagine that Sarah Palin overdosed on, what? moose meat, and somehow got genetically shmooshed up with Divine. Don’t ask me how. Christ!  Maybe she fell into the transgromulator, OK? That thingContinue reading “Voting shame and sibling loathing”