+PLUS+ Angelic Visions ANGELIC VISIONS When William Blake was a young lad, he saw trees filled with angels radiating light. I mean to say, more than once. Regularly. When he was a bit older, his brother, Robert, often dropped in to give him useful advice about his magnificent celestial art and his mysterious visionary poetry, … Continue reading Proverbs of Post-Truth Heaven & Hell
Category: satire
So You Wanna Have a Gay Orgy
Better disasters through planning You're in the dead zone, that stretch of time somewhere between 2AM and dawn, when normal lovers of every configuration, from par-for-the-course to unimagined, are enjoying the sweaty fulfillment of eagerly-anticipated dates made early the previous evening, or even, in cases of terminal normality, entire days in advance. You, on the … Continue reading So You Wanna Have a Gay Orgy
Joy to the World, Unless You’re Dead
In which case, congratulations Merry Coronadays, readers! Are you dead yet? No? What’s holding you up, and what can I do to encourage you? Because the latest stats show that you should be, with a standard deviation of ±3 percentage points. Get with the program and do your part, so everyone can be right about … Continue reading Joy to the World, Unless You’re Dead
Lament of the Increasingly Irrelevant White Guy
(to be sung à la Woody Guthrie, in the key of "Mi, mi, mi, mi—MI!") I hate those PC leftiesOur freedom is destroyed By using a respectful wordDisgruntled white guys feel absurd What's wrong with good ol' English namesOur ancestors deployed? CHORUS: My daddy is a "Paki,"My mother is a "kike"My sister, she's a "cripple" … Continue reading Lament of the Increasingly Irrelevant White Guy
Skipping Rhymes for Gen-Z, #2
Forget the Plague, the next gen has to process less-predictable horrors HERE I AM, STILL UNDERCOVER at the Acme Prep School, disguising myself with chocolate milk moustaches, playing with Dinky Toys at recess and praying the Grade Ones to Eights don't notice. The things I do for this blog! If I have to choke down … Continue reading Skipping Rhymes for Gen-Z, #2
I’m Just So Very Much NOT Hysterical About Notre-Dame de Paris
Let's burn the rest of them down, too. Please—don't pray for us. YES, GENTLE READERS, TODAY'S THEME IS "disasters, real or imagined" and to kick off, I must apologize for my absence from these bloggy parts during the last few weeks. You know how much I crave your attention, and the very quickest among you … Continue reading I’m Just So Very Much NOT Hysterical About Notre-Dame de Paris
If I had any idea who Tucker Carlson was…
... I'd probably be ashamed to admit it. As I was lounging on my balcony this evening, listlessly picking at the plate of shoestring potatoes I'd prepared for myself, and watching the rainy wind plaster shredded pieces of tissue, and pages from NOW Magazine covered with pictures of naked women, and empty Cheetos bags onto … Continue reading If I had any idea who Tucker Carlson was…
Serious two-bite brownie habit
David discovers homophobia under the right's opposition to the Ontario sex education curriculum; and wonders if the AIDS crisis of the '80's and the death of an older generation of gay male mentors is the real reason for a douchebag generation of the sexually awful.
How Much is a [Gay] Life Worth?
twenty-five years with the possibility of parole Bruce McArthur will be 91 when he is able to apply for parole. CREDIT: Pam Davies/CBC Bruce McArthur, the serial killer who targeted gay men in Toronto from 2010 to 2017 — yes, for eight years — and who evaded capture even after being brought in for questioning as a suspect in 2013, … Continue reading How Much is a [Gay] Life Worth?
This is How You Blackmail Jeff Bezos, Guys
DEAR MR. BEZOS: YEAH, SO. JUST READ the descriptions of those pics the National Enquirer got their hands on, and should Amazon customers see them — which would clearly be in their best interest — they would, quite frankly, question your business judgment. I certainly do! I do also have just a few really quite minor suggestions about your … Continue reading This is How You Blackmail Jeff Bezos, Guys