PLUS: #MondayManCrush year-end special It's the most wonderful time of year, and I want to make extra sure I've addressed everyone's concerns, neuroses and conspiracy theories, because I really, really want you to get just what you asked for. (Or, as expressed by H.L. Mencken: “Democracy is the theory that the common people know what … Continue reading Secret Santa, Still Stuck On the 401 Westbound
Category: Rants
It’s Not About the Freaking Filibuster
and it's not incumbent on Democrats to save US democracy This week, Joe Biden traveled to Georgia, that bastion of color-blind equality, to make a hell-raising speech in which he drew a line in the sand: Which side are you on? Are you on the side of democracy, or the side of authoritarianism? Racial justice … Continue reading It’s Not About the Freaking Filibuster
The Limits of Funny and the Whiteness of Money
Dave Chappelle’s shameful trans bashing might be “humor that was never intended for white audiences anyway.” Except even then, it’s just shameful trans bashing. Full confession: I haven’t watched Dave Chappelle’s Netflix special, “The Closer.” And I don’t intend to. As a gay man who’s known he was gay from the age of eight, believe me, I’ve had … Continue reading The Limits of Funny and the Whiteness of Money
Nothing But Tweets
making Twitter pull its birdly weight Welcome to the first edition of Tuesday Time Crush, in which I cravenly avoid the soul-destroying boondoggle of forcing myself to get creative by regaling you with a selection of the witty, cerebral two-hundred and eighty-character bon mots which I have posted to Twitter, the bidet that's convinced it's … Continue reading Nothing But Tweets
Because It Feels So Good When You Stop
nothing like expecting the world to thank you because you've decided you're not after all going to continue drowning us in the tub, then slit your wrists. Justin Trudeau was the first world leader who President-Elect Biden spoke to. Justin and Biden. This means we've traveled back in time to that gold-misted Camelot of 2008 … Continue reading Because It Feels So Good When You Stop
COVID-19 Pandemic and Racism Endemic Have F**ked the Funny Out of Me
Save me from myself, please! As I descend into a possibly terminal state of Toxic Earnestness on a pikestaff Hello. My Name is David and I'm—earnest. Thanks, David! booms the twelve-step Greek chorus. I'm an earnest, virtue-signalling piece of old jute carpet woven by cheerful, appreciative, highly-skilled and adequately-paid native workers in a tropical paradise … Continue reading COVID-19 Pandemic and Racism Endemic Have F**ked the Funny Out of Me
Fear of Queer
Young progressives find woke new ways to throw shade at "the gays" FUNNY THING ABOUT PETE Buttigieg. People, especially Young People, don't like him. I mean, they really don't like him. The just-hatched harpies of the intolerant left speak of Pete’s falling fortunes as though they occurred in a vacuum and based solely on his … Continue reading Fear of Queer
What’s More Shameful Than Nude Photos of a Member of Congress?
thinking that they're shameful. LET ME STATE THIS RIGHT OFF THE BAT: Revenge porn is sexual assault. And Katie Hill, the thirty-two-year-old Democratic representative for California's 25th District who has resigned over nude photos of her leaked by her ex, has been violated as completely as if she'd been raped. Though you be in sunny … Continue reading What’s More Shameful Than Nude Photos of a Member of Congress?
Only an Appointed Senate Can Be a “House of Sober Second Thought”
and Jagmeet Singh's NDP just doesn't get it We're now fairly skidding along the reinforced cotton gusset of life, aiming straight for Monday the 21st October, when the citizens of the People's Republic of Libtardia head to the polls. Ugh. I get sooooo tense about the "wrong" person getting into power, only made more tense … Continue reading Only an Appointed Senate Can Be a “House of Sober Second Thought”
Conservatives finally broke the world…
... with help from my mom's new sofa SO I'M SITTING ON MY BALCONY WITH A friend of my friend. The friend of my friend is black, and as we small-talk each other he tells me that he's Canadian, having been born here of parents who emigrated here from Jamaica. This seems totally right and … Continue reading Conservatives finally broke the world…