It is with a self-consciously pained facial expression, and in my best Walter Brennan voice on the words "young whippersnapper", that I announce an annoyingly successful attempt to bring laughter to the unwashed masses - that's you, in case you haven't had a discreet sniff recently - by someone whose age - by the look of their … Continue reading Breaking news: Young whippersnapper tries to be as funny as me. Almost succeeds.
Category: Fabulousness
Gee, don’t come rushing at me all at once, like a Handel chorus
Veritable smoothie of sophomoric humor. Strawberry = you. Well! (he spluttered). This is a fine how-d'you do! I work myself to the bone getting all sacrilegious, spend literally minutes in Photoshop desecrating the memory of possibly the 10th-greatest plummy English contralto who ever lived, blend it half-heartedly together into a veritable smoothie of sophomoric humor that would make … Continue reading Gee, don’t come rushing at me all at once, like a Handel chorus
Yes, friends. It’s time for : GAY WALK OF SHAME # 47
Heads up! Male camel-toe alert... Ladies and gentlemen of the jury: I give you Exhibit A. And I know what you're thinking: With finely-draped plaid shorts like these, those ketchup-stained, armpit-hiked old-age trousers from Gap are all but inevitable; There is incipient male camel-toe, that little-mentioned yet classic mark of future whoredom, apparent in the saggy yet … Continue reading Yes, friends. It’s time for : GAY WALK OF SHAME # 47
Low-paw Entertainment: Never forget how good I am to you
An interim post while I think of something, anything, more interesting to throw your way. My life is largely absorbed with how to entertain, impress, and otherwise get you to validate me. So how about a little appreciation. Well, then, here we go, and it's probably more impressive than you expected. Which is a … Continue reading Low-paw Entertainment: Never forget how good I am to you
I hope your autograph book is back from the cleaners
It's a week since I reached the heady milestone of 10 "likes" and 10 followers on this blog, and you can bet your sweet patooty that life will never be the same again. I'm sure the only reason that I'm still able to leave my apartment unmolested – an act whose desirability leaves me somewhat conflicted, what with … Continue reading I hope your autograph book is back from the cleaners
I’m sorry if this makes it even worse to be you. But hey.
Dear followers, newcomers, and any assorted white trash who may have accidentally stumbled on this blog while searching hysterically for information about "crystal meth use lumps back of neck": As much as I hate to rub your face in it, it's, like, totally awesome? To be me? Today's manifestation of that hard, unavoidable fact is my lovely … Continue reading I’m sorry if this makes it even worse to be you. But hey.