Secret Santa, Still Stuck On the 401 Westbound

PLUS: #MondayManCrush year-end special It's the most wonderful time of year, and I want to make extra sure I've addressed everyone's concerns, neuroses and conspiracy theories, because I really, really want you to get just what you asked for. (Or, as expressed by H.L. Mencken: “Democracy is the theory that the common people know what … Continue reading Secret Santa, Still Stuck On the 401 Westbound

Yes, Camilla Made a Racist Remark About Archie

You know what's even worse? We wanted her to. Countess Rottweiler We’ve learned a lot during the over-not-over, pandemic-race-riot, all-in-one Fellini-carnival-with-bearded-lady slow-motion catastrophe we’ve struggled through over the past, how long has it been? Somewhere between forever and a lifetime, I estimate. We’ve learned that Republicans, and conservatives generally, are the lizard people everyone’s been threatening us … Continue reading Yes, Camilla Made a Racist Remark About Archie

Jordan Peterson’s Quixotic Quest for Real Manhood

PLUS: #MondayManCrush: Adam Kinzinger Jordan Peterson: happy camper? So much has happened since we last spoke! Right? Democracy in the US has mounted its wild stallion and is galloping onto the funeral pyre with an enthusiasm that even Brunnhilde couldn't muster. To-yo-to-HO! Turns out that, according to the mountains of hard evidence amassed by the … Continue reading Jordan Peterson’s Quixotic Quest for Real Manhood

My First Hook-Up in Ottawa Got a Little Out of Hand

just another, good ol' Canadian « exposition de merde » ! Hey followers, hangers-on and random stumblers-upon, sorry I’ve been MIA but it’s hard work fending off all the convoy dudes with one hand tied behind my back and a can of Molson in the other. Yeah, that was all my fault, that snafu in … Continue reading My First Hook-Up in Ottawa Got a Little Out of Hand

Canada Must Stop Enabling Québec’s Islamophobia

"Laïcité" sounds like a straightforward, even desirable, concept—until you understand its hypocrisy and witness its very intentional consequences. French culture is one of the wonders of the world. I can't think of any other which can claim such mastery in every endeavor, from food and wine, to fashion, to literature, art and music, capped with … Continue reading Canada Must Stop Enabling Québec’s Islamophobia

Joy to the World, Unless You’re Dead

In which case, congratulations Merry Coronadays, readers! Are you dead yet? No? What’s holding you up, and what can I do to encourage you? Because the latest stats show that you should be, with a standard deviation of ±3 percentage points. Get with the program and do your part, so everyone can be right about … Continue reading Joy to the World, Unless You’re Dead

Being Thankful is SUCH a Bitch

PLUS: Come back to daddy Yesterday was Canadian Thanksgiving, which always takes place on the second Monday in October. I can already hear everyone tittering condescendingly about our sad, off-kilter and irrelevant Canadian habits and how we're just so obviously and sycophantically trying to be American, like little brother checking his pee-pee, then peeking at … Continue reading Being Thankful is SUCH a Bitch

Whatever Shall We Do About Justin?

You need to know that Trudeauphobia has its roots in the fear and loathing of straight males who are closing in for the kill. A clarification MOST OF US, HAVING SEEN Sophie-Grégoire and Justin Trudeau caught in a candid moment gazing adoringly into each other's eyes, or photogenically romping around with their three children; or … Continue reading Whatever Shall We Do About Justin?

Canadian Conservatives Shocked to Learn Justin Trudeau Just a Regular Guy, Not Devil Spawn

and BREAKING NEWS: Maxime Bernier is NOT GAY STUNNED Members of the Conservative Party of Canada (CPC) and the People's Party of Canada (PPC) are threatening legal action—or at the very least, a nasty, pouty-lipped sulk— after determining that Justin Trudeau is just a regular, normal human dude and not the High Priest of Satanic … Continue reading Canadian Conservatives Shocked to Learn Justin Trudeau Just a Regular Guy, Not Devil Spawn

COVID 19: It All Comes Down to Toilet Paper

Corona virus pandemic: Canada sets an example, Introverts are doing OK, and, in the People's Republic of Trumpezuela, it's buy more—you know.