Famous, for all the wrong reasons

Doug Ford and the Conservative Party have revealed their utter contempt for public safety, for Canada’s healthcare system, for science. Today was a very sad day for Ontario. Reuters News Agency headlined the fact that our Intensive Care Units are at breaking point, and that, as warned by 130 or so ICU physicians, we willContinue reading “Famous, for all the wrong reasons”

Apps in Development

plus #MondayManCrush: The Risen Christ is really just like you and me, except really more like the Royal Family. Now that I’ve opened my store, it occurred to me that developing a few apps might be in order. The only thing that makes me hesitate slightly is my complete lack of any kind of trainingContinue reading “Apps in Development”

Morning Prayer

don’t worry about my soul, just give me back my stylus Hail MinervaFull of GraceGoddess of Disappointment,Petty Theft andFlaked Tuna in Broth It’s Dave.Remember me?Eighth floor? From the depths of my Shame and squalorLargely self-induced, but whatever,I cry to thee. Restore thou to meWhat I have lostGenerally, my innocence, butSpecifically, my smartphone,Which I may haveContinue reading “Morning Prayer”

Monthly Mayhem: A Dyspeptic Digest

where the irrelevant and the opinionated slap the unbelievable upside the head and make it cry It’s a month of Good Things in The People’s Republic of Pandemia, which is, like Toronto, a soulless state of mind you can’t escape. Our crazed boredom makes us seek out what we previously might have ignored as trivialContinue reading “Monthly Mayhem: A Dyspeptic Digest”

Sex with Str8 Dudes Isn’t a Right (Part II)

It’s a painful but necessary duty. Part I || Part II As I explained in Part I, I could say that I came out when I was eight, except I was never in. I was a flaming little faggot kid, not this bristling hunk of pork jowl manhood you see today. I had my firstContinue reading “Sex with Str8 Dudes Isn’t a Right (Part II)”

Sex with Str8 Dudes Isn’t a Right (Part I)

It’s a painful but necessary duty. Part I || Part II I THINK I WAS AROUND EIGHT YEARS OLD WHEN I awoke one morning from a romantic dream about Robert Goulet—he was holding me in his arms and singing “If Ever I Would Leave You” while Julie Andrews, dressed as Mary Poppins, glared at meContinue reading “Sex with Str8 Dudes Isn’t a Right (Part I)”

Ethylene Glum and Me

+PLUS+ MANY OF YOU MAY BE UNAWARE THAT I was the original choice for “Dorothy” in “The Wizard of Oz.” There, it’s finally out, and what a burden it’s been these— sixty? one hundred? I lose count—years. And I hesitated about telling you, knowing you’d never again be able to watch Ethylene Glum singing, “IContinue reading “Ethylene Glum and Me”

Talkin’ Sh*t about Sch*tt’s Creek, White Boy Rappers and Black Homophobia

stop clutching your pearls and own up AS MY FREQUENT VISITORS ARE well aware, I like to solve the world’s problems, or at least point them out if there’s no financial incentive and I don’t feel like changing out of my bathrobe, by wielding the almost supernatural influence of this blog. Did I say “theContinue reading “Talkin’ Sh*t about Sch*tt’s Creek, White Boy Rappers and Black Homophobia”

A Maven Who Meets the Zeitgeist Head-On

Malegrievance “Mike” Atheistbitch-Godisdead is ready to lend you a helping hand WITH INAUGURATION DAY SETTING EVERYONE’S NERVES a-janglin’ down south, and its embarrassing, bargain-basement Canadian complement, the show-trial and ousting of tendentious, racist Derek Sloan from the Conservative Party of Canada drifting by unnoticed up here, birthplace of ice cubes and frozen dreams, I thoughtContinue reading “A Maven Who Meets the Zeitgeist Head-On”

A Forced March Into an Already-Old New Year

Lockdown lunacy, a challenge for Nicole—and Trump’s “come-as-dumb-as-you-are” farewell party, with sparklers. I’M PANDEMICKED, WHO ARE YOU? ARE you Pandemicked, too? Did you awaken this morning, as I did, with a stone for a heart, and emitting a groan that echoed through the inner city like twelve ambulances en route to a burning trap house?Continue reading “A Forced March Into an Already-Old New Year”