That’s me: a Cracker Jack box full of surprises.

Praise for The Book

“Just as we’re on the verge of losing gay quintessentials

like camp and irony, along comes David Roddis and A Slow Painful Death Would Be Too Good for You, a collection of personal and satirical essays told in the style that made gay people infamous for just being funnier. Roddis breathes life into a nearly lost art of arch wit, making it great to be gay again.”

— Shaun Proulx
Writer, speaker, host of SiriusXM’s The Shaun Proulx Show. Founder of #ThoughtRevolution

“A Slow, Painful Death Would Be Too Good for You (and Other Observations)” by David Roddis

is now on sale in a NEWLY enhanced and redesigned edition, with hard cover, paperback and e-book versions available.

Snarky yet sparkling satire and witty personal essays that make perfect reading for your hellishly locked-down Holiday Season which is “like, the worst thing ever to have happened to anyone but especially ME.

We understand. You need a little retail therapy to soothe your frazzled feelings. But what to buy when you already own more cheap knock-off Armani suits and Seiko chronographs than a third-world dictator??

Purchase the paperback now from
» your favorite online bookstore
(Amazon, Barnes & Noble, !ndigo, Apple, Google)

We suggest: Go sit right down on Santa’s lap, Murgatrod McGraw, and see what comes up!

And if while shifting from second to third gear you find your thoughts wandering to Christmas Dayes of Olde—those cinnamon-scented mornings of slammed doors, tears of rancor and surprise visits from Children’s Aid—you might just want to take a little break and snuggle up to

my satirical, lyrical, occasionally hysterical, laugh-out-loud and ever-so-slightly-gay short-form writing.*

*Audience: 18+ / Contains explicit content.

Purchase the e-book version now
» from me with immediate download (in trendy epub format)


Would you like a paperback copy of my book,
plus that “oog-y” sense of intimate connection,
but without having to respond to my Craigslist
“special massage” ad?

Then, Murgatroyd McGraw, a personalized, signed copy may be just the thing for you!

You’ll receive the paperback edition, male-enhanced with the custom message you provide AND my signature, all ready for the day when the Public Trustee is auctioning off your estate. Don’t delay!


Purchase your
signed personalized copy
of the paperback edition


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Glad Day Bookshop
499 Church Street
Toronto, Canada

if you’re just too fucking lazy to Uber to Toronto from your winter compound in St. Lucia, you can
purchase your signed, personalized copy directly from the author!

Totally Fabricated Praise for “A Slow, Painful Death Would Be….” !