Explaining how the Trudeau government will tackle rising prices by injecting another trillion dollars into the economy for child support, Freeland did not mince words.
“Let me show you how it’s done,” she said. “Imagine you’ve come home from a really difficult day, when you’ve been setting economic policy, running damage control, being called “leetle mademoiselle” by Pierre Poilievre, trying to figure out what I was supposed to do with Alberta, making sure Justin’s socks are all paired up and folded neatly according to the konmari method, and, oh shit, picking up that dry cleaning, and let me tell you, I’ve – I mean you’ve got a splitting headache. Right?
“And you’re just about to crack open that bottle of Baby Duck – Chyristia’s blue, now she’s gay! – when hubby sneaks up behind you and just presses his boner into your hip. Without even asking or scheduling it in Evernote.
“That’s like inflation. And what you have to do is, is you just reach out like this, just make no bones about it, you reach out and grip it by the balls with your left hand, stretch until its eyes water, then grab the tip and squeeze. Hard. I guarantee your inflation will be a thing of the past. John Keynes swore by it.
“Would anyone like to hear that again in one of my five other languages? I must warn you, though, I’m having an Esperanto kind of day.”