(if you’re in, or can make it to, Toronto this November 15th.)
FECKLESS BOY THAT I AM, I HAVE NEGLECTED all this time to arrange a real, bona fide grown-up publicity campaign for my book. This means that my method of selling my book to date has been to purchase copies and give them to friends on the strict understanding that they would write an honest review for Amazon, which they then failed to write.
If you actually knew me, rather than being obliged to stand outside my apartment with your autograph album, a bottle of poppers and a fishing net, you would know that this is simply what I do. You would appreciate the inherent charm of my signature, ever-present, shambolic and lovable life strategy of complete, nutty-professor-style, always-on-the-brink-of-disaster disorganizational entropy.
That’s how the lady from Canada Revenue Agency described it, or, at least, how she would have described it if I’d stopped crying long enough for her to get a word in.
But when I finally get around to things, Murgatroyd McGraw, I tell ya—! I tackle those things with the myopic optimism of a flat-earther walking his feral cats on a leash and the whacked-out persistence of a Stepford Wife stuck in a malfunction loop opening and closing the refrigerator door.
But it’s OK. I have clonazepam.
Be it known, then, that I will be reading from my incomparable collection of short form satire and witty personal essays on Friday, November 15th, at my crumbling mini-Xanadu in the sky, 392 Sherbourne Street, in Toronto
There will be refreshments, sparkling wit, moist eyes, or at least some part of your anatomy, and copies of my book for signing in both paperback and hardcover form. You’ll want to be there, but if you can’t physically you can virtually for I will also live broadcast the event.
Scan the above QR code to send details of my book launch and reading to your mobile device.
I don’t know why you’d do this instead of just manually doing it. I just created the code so that I could pander to you, the millennials of today.
I will add that a millennial is anyone younger than me, which is just about everyone who’s not in an ICU with a “do not resuscitate” order.
slowpainful dot com presents
The Book Launch
Friday, November 15th, 2019 @ 8 PM
reads from his collection of short form satire
and personal essays,
“A Slow, Painful Death Would be Too Good for You
(and Other Observations): A Pillow Book for Dyspeptics”
Suite 805, 392 Sherbourne Street, (just north of Carlton),
Toronto M4X 1K3
Please RSVP, admission free.