From My Squalid Kitchen, Episode 3

Kraft Dinner With Building Manager Garnish.

When you’re fighting eviction, the

simplest solution is to make a meal of your enemy.  It helps that we now have Google Translate, so we can curse them in their native tongue, in this case, Russian.

Dear Mr P:

May your blinis be always too thick!!

Пусть ваши блины всегда будут слишком толстыми  !!
Pust’ vashi bliny vsegda budut slishkom tolstymi  !!

May your wife smell of the gulag and your children have kasha for brains!!

Пусть твоя жена пахнет гулагом, а твои дети имеют кашу для мозгов!
 Pust’ tvoya zhena pakhnet gulagom, a tvoi deti imeyut kashu dlya mozgov!

May the sturgeon of your district be always barren and the oysters out of season!!

Пусть осетр вашего региона будет всегда бесплодным и устриц вне сезона!
Pust’ osetr vashego regiona budet vsegda besplodnym i ustrits vne sezona!

May you be anally penetrated by a thousand Vladimir Putin’s!!!

Я желаю, чтобы вы были проникнуты тысячами Владимиром Путиным!
YA zhelayu, chtoby vy byli proniknuty tysyachami Vladimirom Putinym!

Funnest. Fun. EVERRRRRRR.

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