The new slowpainful.com store is officially open. And the name says it all.


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Bemused, then inspired by

the dubious epigrams, vapid pep-talks and wrong attributions found everywhere on the internet, I’ve shamelessly conjured up fake, fractured quotes and useless life tips then crammed them into the speech bubbles of the famous, infamous and just plain dead.

The result?  You rock the appearance of cutting-edge, while remaining as blissfully unenlightened as before!

This collection:  Saint or sacred cow? Whatever your take on Gandhi, you’ll delight in the absurdity of these never-in-a-million-years bon mots.

SPECIAL LAUNCH PROMOTION: 
Take 20% off the cost of all these tees, for a price of $25  $20 CAD  until July 16th only! Be the first to own one of these sure-to-be classics.

USE CODE JULY17 AT CHECKOUT for your 20% discount.

Three concepts:

 Concept 2 quote:  “I thought Ben Kingsley was OK in ‘Gandhi’.  But I really would have preferred Meryl Streep.”

 Concept 3 quote: “My number one ‘Dress for Success’ tip?  For riots, keep it simple and off-the-shoulder.”

About your Tee

This updated unisex essential, manufactured in the U.S. by Bella+Canvas, fits like a well-loved favorite, featuring a crew neck, short sleeves and designed with superior combed and ring-spun cotton. Sizes XS – XL.

Each concept is available in white, and in two additional colors chosen by me to match its design. Below are just a few examples.

 

 

Shop the T-shirts »

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2 comments

    1. Good, and thank you so much. Looking forward to breakfasts at the Sunset Lodge, during which twilight time I enjoy five minutes of fame before I face-plant into a bowl of lukewarm semolina and drown. I really wanted the bacon and eggs, kidneys and fried bread, but oh, no. CREAM. OF. WHEAT!

      My first cheque for a million arrives as they’re driving my body to the morgue and I would like to be BURIED WITH THAT CHEQUE, OK?

      Liked by 1 person

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