You never asked for it! You don’t want it! AND HERE IT IS!!?: A FREE Bonus Photography Tip from David DeLaRoddis!

copyright2-small-delaroddisAnd now your extra-special “oh no, not him again!!??” treat

A Bonus Free Photo Tip from the un-F-stoppable, digitally inexcusable David DeLaRoddis, ‘The Guy With The Eye’™!

This photo tip is totally free* to readers of this blog—that’s right!  It won’t cost you a red cent! Nothing, and when we say nothing, we mean absolutely $0!  Nada!  Niente dollars! Gar nix!  Rien de rien!  Je ne regrette rien piastres!  Un bon zero de monnaie!!  Je suis so fucking désolé but it’s ever so gratis, oui oui!  NOTHING!!!!  OK?  FREE*!!


*Free tip is free for 10 minutes, after which your credit card will be charged a recurring t ransp eye$37.50 per month which you can never alter or cancel or charge back no matter how hard you try.  You’ll die with this recurring charge still going, OK?  Call a trillion times, it will never cancel. Never

Hi little photog people! This is David DeLaRoddis, The Guy With The Eye™!  Hey, there’s my eye right there!  Today’s free* tip:

The Internet is a dangerous place!  Don’t post images without protection!  L O friggin’ L!

The second you post your image on the web, literally kajillions of rapacious image stealers—who have been following your every click waiting for you to become famous so they can kidnap your children, shove them in an old refrigerator that someone neglected to take the door off of and convey your helpless, crying children in that rusty, stinky old death trap of a fridge to Goat Island Observation Deck, Niagara, where they will proceed to inch the refrigerator containing your doomed, suffocating, screaming children closer and closer to the edge of the Horseshoe Falls until you pony up with the ransom money—yes siree, these rapacious image stealers will pounce upon every deathless pic you’ve ever taken of the sunset from your back porch YAWN and monetize every single one of them in perpetuity worldwide without recourse and WITHOUT PAYING YOU A FUCKING NICKEL!!!

Does that make your blood boil or what?  Exactly!


This image is probably safe. But you can never be sure!  This image is copyright, by the way.  Yes!  So please don’t steal it.  And I don’t have any kids.  You’d have to kidnap my Swiss Cheese Plant!  They’ll laugh you out of Niagara Falls!!

That’s why I always protect my image with a watermark that says discreetly but firmly:

“Get yer cotton-pickin’ hands offa my moneymaker, bitch!  I shoot first, then make the simple logical deduction that might have saved all our lives after I’ve finished screaming, Oh God what have I done!!!, later.  Capisce? ”

Here’s my example, though god knows even with these protections in place it’s a sitting target.  So there goes your non-existent career right down the ol’ crapper, sunshine!

The other option of course is to become a rapacious image stealer, and more on that exciting career choice next time!

This is goodbye from—The Guy With The Eye™  !!!

R O T F L MAO friggin’ L!!!!