My First Contest!


suggestionwhores
SEND ME YOUR TOPICS FOR BLOG POSTS AND I WILL REWARD YOU IN THE AFTER-LIFE WITH SEVEN NAKED VIRGINS.

GAWD, YOU’RE EASY.


“Suggestion Whores” Contest*

VISION:

Sitting around all day doing nothing and getting paid for it.

This blog is rapidly approaching 100 posts, at which point I’m going to collect my best pieces from the blog into an e-book, for sale online (or “on the computer” for those of you who are over 80 and/or owners of “iPhone”).

MISSION:

To serve up my insanely desperate, lightly-beaded-with-sweat Best, so that come Holiday season you can

Give the Gift of Polite, Strained Laughter™

The contest rules are so simple a three-year-old could explain them. As it happened, all the kids at ThreeYearOldsExplain.com were booked, so I’m going to take a whack at it myself.

CONTEST RULES:

There is NO entry fee.

Decide on a subject – be it a quote, a random book title, a news headline, or even a single word –  that you would like to see used as the basis or inspiration/starting point for a post here on slowpainful.com

Send your suggestion in the body of an email addressed to:  » david@davidroddis.com

Use “Blog Post Contest” in the subject line of the email.

And watch the payments roll in while you sleep!

I’m kidding, there are no payments rolling in. Wouldn’t that be nice if it were true? But it’s a total fabrication.

Total Fabrication—It’s What I Do.™

MY TASK:

I’ll choose the ten suggestions I like best from all of your responses. No, life isn’t fair.

I will then work my demented, inconsequential and impertinent magic with your suggestions AND include your name as the inspiration for the post.

This is your one chance for one nano-second of “Canadian fame” (what’s that like?  Just ask “Margaret WHO?”).

YOUR PRIZE
* A credit in the blog post
* A credit in any e-book and/or physical book
* A copy of any physical book
AND
**A poster from my current online store (Facebook), signed by me!**  

I envision a physical version of the e-book printed on raw silk with cochineal-based inks, enclosed in a buttery-soft, hand-stitched calf’s skin cover with mother-of-pearl inlay.

Unfortunately that’s a complete fantasy and the actual physical book, if any, will probably be printed on newspaper stock with a flimsy cardboard cover that will barely protect it the first time you drop it into the bathwater or vomit those twelve shots of Bailey’s you just had for breakfast all over it.

What do you mean, “is that it?” ??!!

Contest ends 23:59 EST, February 15th, 2017.  


*ITTY-BITTY NITTY-GRITTY 

  1.  The final choice of up to 10 suggestions is entirely and solely mine and my decision is final.
  2.  I reserve the right to use any or all of the ideas you submit for publication or not to use any of them, at my sole discretion.
  3. By submitting your suggestion(s), you grant slowpainful.com and its owner, David Roddis, non-exclusive, non-transferable license in perpetuity to use, transmit, edit, modify, print and otherwise make use of and publish your suggestion by either electronic or physical means.  You will be credited for your suggestion.
  4. There is no fee for entry and you can submit as many suggestions as you wish, as many times as you wish.  
  5. The poster will be chosen by me and either delivered to you via mail, or you may collect from me in Toronto.
  6. I do not guarantee the timing of, or the production of, any electronic or physical publication from this blog or from any suggestions you submit.   
  7. I reserve the right to alter these rules,  to cancel the contest, and to change the prizes at any time without notice. 
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