BREAKING NEWS: Operation to remove huge, malignant Fordoma from Toronto only partially successful.


The malignant Fordoma that was removed from Toronto being wheeled away.
The malignant Fordoma that was removed from Toronto being wheeled away. Yuk! (© 2015, David DelaRoddis. Licensed under Creative Commons “Steal this photo and say goodbye to answering the front door after 5PM” Version IX. You may be wondering: DelaRoddis is author of “Photography is Hard Unless of Course You’re Me.” Which you should definitely buy.)*

Toronto, May 12th:   Toronto’s prolonged suffering appeared to be at best temporarily at an end today, after an operation to remove a gigantic lump which it has been harboring for the past four years was pronounced guardedly successful.

In this grisly photo – which may cause distress to some – we see the huge, malignant Fordoma that was removed from Toronto being wheeled out of the operating theatre.

“It was touch and go for a bit in there,” said the chief surgeon, Dr Michael “Muddy” York, who appeared exhausted by the ordeal.  “This was definitely one of those aggressive 905-type invasions. They’re tenacious, those buggers!  And dumb…?  Why, I’d rather drink a steeped tea from Timmies than try to discuss Margaret Atwood when one of these low-brow scum-suckers is around!  Talk about embarrassing!”  Dr. York, overcome with emotion, added: “Toronto’s safe for the moment – but not 100% out of the woods yet.”

Toronto is heavily sedated and resting quietly in the recovery ward.  Please, no visitors.


* Actual attribution:  Photo © by 680 CityNews.  
Not really by David DelaRoddis.  Which you kind of knew.
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