You say Inès, I say Loulou

Yippee!   A new book is out on Loulou de la Falaise, muse to YSL (“Muse”? When did we stop using “Hag”?). On the back cover are several comments, including one by Inès de la Fressange.

Which got me thinking.

with David de la Roddis

1. Inès de la Fressange is just Loulou de la Falaise minus the two kilogram earrings and with the sort of noticeable body odour typically described as “sharp”.

2. “The name is an anagram…!”

3. Someone called Inès will be cursed with a visible, coarse moustache, no matter how many times she plucks.

4. But a girl called Loulou will live her life in a froth of petticoats, she will step straight out of a Toulouse-Lautrec poster, twirling her pretty jambes and making do with “Oooh, la la!”  for her side of the conversation, if any. She will smoke from the age of five with no negative effects.

5. “de la Falaise“: adj. [slang, archaic] Utterly worthless, without use; a turkey. { e.g.: “Have you seen Molière’s latest? Simply too, too ‘de la Falaise’!”}

6. “fressange”: n. [vulgar, archaic] Of the skin: Moistness, stickiness; a state of peeling off in translucent strips. Alternatively: A large, discolored abrasion. {e.g. “Inès would be so much more popular if she would only deal with her fressange!”} [Origin obscure; possibly from “Frizz Ange”, a type of household cleaning pad once used at Versailles.]

So you see? Parents, take heed, and always, always call your girl “Loulou”, not “Inès”.

If you know what’s good for her.


Tell us what you think. Keep it civil, yet interesting.